One for the CV: Why I should be on your "30 under 30" list, despite being 37

These days, there is a lot of focus on young writers (not simply early career writers, but YOUNG writers). I understand that publishers, editors and the broader media want to generate hype around work (especially debuts) by young, photogenic people. Any why not? It can pay to have a diverse portfolio of young people that potential readers feel attracted to; writers that potential fans might want to go for a drink with, as well as reading their dystopian YA sci-fi novella.

When it comes to diversity, I'm not really a member of any minority, and so will probably not make your list look more diverse, although I have diversity within me - I contain multitudes of unreliable narrators. I have been told that I'm photogenic by some people, and everyone uses Photoshop these days, so you can always make my eyebrows, nose or teeth look different in your write-up if you wish. That's fine. Feel free to make me look 21, if that helps you to hit your brief.

If you wish, we could even spin it so that I can describe myself as a teenage prodigy. I can also cook up some intense back story about how I overcame adversity to write my book or books. This could really grab people's attention, even if I'm subsequently exposed as a charlatan.

In any case, I think making this list would really give my writing career a real boost, and also make me more appealing appearance-wise to others. So add me to you 30 under 30 thirty list, even if you have 30 names in mind already, I'm sure people won't mind if you have one author "too many", as well as having an author or two who are comfortable over 30 years of age. Take a chill pill!

Thank you.